I always laugh when surfing online I see a question like, “How much is Anthony Robbins worth?” People seem to associate bank accounts with worth. I assure you that no matter how much Anthony Robbins or any other celebrity has in the bank, they are worth far, far more. And no matter what your bank statement says, so are you.
In many of my coaching sessions, no matter the issue the client presents, the core issue is self-worth. Most people have been invalidated, demeaned, and labeled at a young age to the point that they began to doubt themselves, which carries through for most of their life. They were told that they were too fat, stupid, or vocal, and “Why can’t you get grades as good as your older brother?” Or, “You were an accident,” or “We wish you were a boy.” Many parents have no idea how much their negation impacts the child, giving lots of coaches and therapists clientele and business for many years.
If your self-worth has suffered because you were invalidated at any age, you now have a major opportunity to do healing work of a lifetime. You can peel away the limiting identities that were laid over you, and reverse the oppressive programming. Because worth is your natural state as God created you, you can return to your inherent identity as a whole, loveable, beautiful, and perfect soul.
The first step is to recognize that your negative self-identity is learned. You were not born with it. Your parents did not know how to deal with their own self-judgments, so they cast them upon you in attempt to free themselves. When you realize that the critical voice in your head is not your own, but the adopted voice of others, you can begin to disown dysfunction. Neither do you need to blame those who negatively programmed you. They were doing the best they could with the limited tools they had. But you can do better. You have the benefit of an expanded spiritual perspective. You can stop the chain of karma rather than perpetuating it in your own life or passing it along to your children.
Next, you can identify the self-affirming voice opposite the demeaning one. Ask yourself, “What would the voice of love say in contrast to the voice of fear?” Or, “If I really believed in myself, what would I be thinking now?” Or, “How would someone who loved him- or herself respond in this situation?” The voice of self-confidence is there. It is your natural state. It has simply been buried under a lot of garbage. But that voice is enduring and empowering, far more formidable than the critical voice.
During your transformational process, watch your words. Do not let any self-defeating words leave your lips. If you catch yourself putting yourself down or issuing a negative prediction, stop in mid-sentence and choose a more valued completion. The words, “I am” embody the creative power of God. Whatever you say after “I am” becomes true in your experience. Practice filling the blank after “I am” only with self-honoring, empowering statements and visions.
You might also want to revisit activities and relationships that drag you down, especially for the holidays. Hang out with people who love, affirm, and believe in you. All religions and spiritual paths place a high value on satsang, the company of truth. Engage with people and activities who uphold and applaud the truth about your whole, divine nature.
Finally, practice doing things that confirm your worth. Once, while I was shopping with a friend, I found a shirt I really liked. I looked at the price tag and began to put it back on the rack. My friend said, “You are worth it!” I purchased the shirt as an affirmation of my worth. Every time I wore it, I was reminded that I deserve to have and do things I love.
To see yourself through the eyes of love is the crowning achievement of your spiritual journey. Only then do you know yourself as God knows you. From that visionary perspective, all of life becomes a gift because you know yourself to be the gift.