Valentine’s Day celebrates true love. If you are in a relationship or you long for one, you have probably wondered if true love is available. You may have noticed that what you were taught is true love, is not. In my journey of relationship I have had to confront many illusions that made fake love seem true, which only led to disappointment. As I have confronted these illusions and held them up to the light of higher truth, I have found there is so much more to love than we have been led to believe by movies, novels, and love songs. As my Valentine’s present to you, I would like to highlight five false beliefs about relationships that have caused a lot of us pain, and the five truths about relationship that deliver us to true love.
False Belief #1: There is One Person out there who is your divinely appointed soulmate. If you can find that One, your life becomes worthwhile. If not, you miss out on the greatest treasure that life has to offer.
Healing Truth #1: There are many people who could be a wonderful mate for you. What you seek is a compatible flavor, energy, or vibration aligned with your soul. You seek an experience more than a person, and that experience is available through many avenues.
False Belief #2: The Right Partner will complete you. But this means you are incomplete, which is not so. Whatever you bring to a relationship, magnifies. If you bring loneliness or emptiness to a relationship, those emotions will only get stronger in the relationship.
Healing Truth #2: You are already whole. You don’t need anyone to complete you or offset your deficits. When you know who you are and love yourself, you will attract someone who knows who you are and loves you. Successful relationships work from the inside out.
False Belief #3: You must struggle, hustle, suffer, and strive to find the right person. You must look perfect, lose weight, and lie about your age on match.com. Then you must go through a long series of excruciating, disappointing dates or marriages as a trial by fire before you earn the right to find The One.
Healing Truth #3: Finding the right partner can be easy, organic, natural, and fun. If you have to struggle, posture, and engage in incessant image management, it’s not it. Many people meet their partner in the flow of their regular life. When you are ripe and ready inside, the right person will show up with no struggle or effort on your part.
False Belief #4: You and your partner must be compatible in every area and agree on everything. If he doesn’t want to go do yoga or watch spiritual videos with you, something is wrong, and you’d better search for someone who likes everything you like.
Healing Truth #4: No partner will be a carbon copy of you. To find someone like that is illusory and dangerous. The best relationships include diversity and complementary interests. If you enjoy being together and your partner loves and supports you to follow your interests, even if he or she doesn’t share those interests, you’ve got a good thing going. You can enjoy being with other friends who share the interests that your partner doesn’t.
False Belief #5: A successful relationship is a milestone you achieve. When you get married, have the baby, or get the house, that will prove your relationship is real and solid.
Healing Truth #5: Relationship is a process more than an endpoint. Whether you are married or with baby or house is less important than the quality of your connection. If you love and support each other, and are growing spiritually together, regardless of the worldly trophies, you have a real relationship.
A Course in Miracles tells us that using relationships for spiritual growth is the quickest path to healing. Whether you fall in love with yourself with a partner, or fall in love with yourself without a partner, you have succeeded in relationship.
If you are with a partner this Valentine’s Day, go out and celebrate your love. If you not with a partner this Valentine’s day, go in and celebrate your love. True love is available to you right where you stand.